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The Story Of The Love That Led To….

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A Short Simplified Story Of Love And Death.

A tragedy; one of which you only get bits and pieces of.

 

July 2014 Pentwater, MI. They meet for the first time.

June 2017 Lowell, MI. The unimaginable tragedy happened. It was the end.

 

July 2014 Pentwater, MI: The First Meeting

Mary and Francis were camping with their friends and family. However, both of their families were best friends so Mary saw Francis a lot that weekend. They made eye contact multiply times that weekend. Mary has a boyfriend. Francis is a playboy. Here is the story of how Mary and Francis fell in love and how the unimaginable tragedy happened.

It was the weekend of the 4th actually precisely the night of the 4th when Mary and Francis had their first face to face connection. They were both drawn to each other like a bumblebee and flowers. The connection was weird they hung out and talked for hours that night. They talked like they knew each other for years. The next day came along and Mary and Francis didn’t speak again for 6 more months.

January 2015 Lowell, MI: The Second Meeting

Mary had broken up with her boyfriend 6 months ago at this point. Mary was tired of trying with guys and finally an idea came along to fix this problem. See a long time ago Mary and her friend of many years made a deal that if they both couldn’t find happiness in a certain amount of years they would try to find happiness together, what could go wrong? The two started talking, every day for 2 months until January 2015. Luke (the long time friend) invited Mary to a party he was going to, she said yes so he picked her up and on their way they went. 10 minutes into the party Mary see’s Francis. Mary didn’t know Luke and Francis had became best friends nor did she know she was at Francis’s house. Anyways Mary was one to do her own thing at parties, she loved meeting new people so she left Luke’s side. She ended up at Francis’s side that night. Mary and Francis shared their first kiss that night.

January 2015 Lowell, MI: The Morning After

Mary went home the night before. In the morning she shared with Luke what happened with Francis. Luke ended things for good this time and said it’d be better to just stay friends. Mary was heartbroken, but at the same time she was torn between two guys. In just a short amount of time she had fallen in love with not just one person, but two. Mary tried her best to get Luke back, but she realized it wasn’t going to happen. Well Francis began Snapchatting Mary that day as well. Mary ended up sharing her number with Francis and they talked on the phone all day every day. They would hang out at school, after school, at sporting events, just all of the time in general. This went on for a solid month until Francis decided to finally pop the question and ask Mary out on a date. She said yes.

February 2015 Kentwood, MI: The Date

Both Francis and Mary worked a lot so their first date actually ended up being on Valentine’s day at 11pm after the both got out of work. They were determined to go out so the went to IHOP that night. This is when the love started. The two of them started connecting for real and it was certain that they would love each other until the day they died. Time to skip forward.

March 2015 Lowell, MI: True

Mary and Francis were so strong together they had monthly “breakfast” dates for their anniversaries. They spent every waking minute together. They were inseparable. Their love was so strong that it made others want to love. Those two had a love that awakened the soul. A love that was inevitable. A love that brought peace to everyone’s mind. They chose each other without pause, without doubt and in a heartbeat, they forever chose one another. Then one day forever came to an end.

June 2016 Belding, MI: The First Heartbreak

Francis started acting weird towards Mary in June of 2016. She knew something was going on with him, but she was so in love that she didn’t want to think of the worst thing possible. Him not being interested in her. She ignored this feeling for a month and still let Francis treat her poorly until one day she couldn’t take it anymore and broke down and asked him. “What’s wrong, do you not love me anymore”. His response, “Yes, but I have feelings for another girl”. Mary asks, “who”. Francis says,”I don’t want to hurt you so I don’t want to tell you”. Mary begs him to say as she’s crying profusely. “I have feelings for your cousin”. Mary thought for a second and realized that Francis met her cousin back in September 2015 at a wedding for her other cousin. Mary came to find out that Francis has been talking to her cousin since September of  2015 and that her perfect love story was a lie. From that day on Mary and Francis tried working on things, but they never got better.

July 2016: Suicide

Francis broke up with Mary. He didn’t break up with her for the cousin. His friends came home. His friends of bad influence and talked him out of being interested in Mary. They talked him into living the bachelor life. They talked him into a fucking spree. Francis broke up with Mary and said to her this reason, “I want to sleep with other woman, I want to experience what it is like with many other woman”. Mary was devastated and became so depressed, even suicidal. She had nothing left in life because she thought she had met the love of her life. Francis went on vacation with other woman and rubbed it in Mary’s face that he was apparently fooling around with others. Mary didn’t know what happened to the man she once loved. Later on that week Mary tried committing suicide. She would have been successful if it weren’t for her two friends catching her and saving her. She never went to an institution her family was to proud to have that happen so she went out of state for two weeks to live with family and to forget that she had been hurt so bad. She had to quietly think to herself that she wasn’t good enough. She believed she wasn’t good enough until he came back.

August 2016: The Return

After the suicide attempt and the never ending depression Francis came back. Mary took him back. Mary forgave all of the stuff he put her through, all of the rumors he spread about her, all of the things he said to her, she forgave. She loved him and all that mattered was he returned to her. Things were great for the next month. Then October came and Mary found out that Francis had been cheating on her. She apologized for making him feel like he needed to cheat and she forgave him. This day forward they never went on dates, they barely talked, and she was depressed even more. She never let it show though. She left for college and came back every weekend to see him. She was so unhappy. She put up with him being an ass for months. She hid everything because she was so in love and didn’t want to lose him again. A few months later he cheated again. She tried walking away, but he talked her into coming back to him. A month later they called it quits for good and she continued to act like she was living the happiest life one could like.

June 2017: The Tragedy

Mary was exhausted. She was tired of the games. She was tired of the cheating. She was tired of looking stupid. She had such a good heart though she wanted to stay friends with Francis. She was nice, invited him places, and talked him up to people even after all he did. Francis was an asshole to her every day. She continued to try though. Then one day he said he’d be friends only if they were “friends with benefits”. Mary said ok. They slept together a couple times after that until she called it quits. She didn’t want to spend anymore time with a guy like him. She knew she was foolish and was tired of letting her feelings be in control. A few weeks later his brothers graduation party came about. Mary went, she was obligated to go since she had been close with that family for 2.5 years now. She went, heartbroken with a smile on her face. Francis wasn’t there. He showed up after the party very drunk and with a few friends. At this point Mary was face timing a friend behind her vehicle and Francis came up to her drunk as can be and said, “Mary, I’m going to Marry you one day. You know why because I love you and you are my favorite.” Mary just went on with her conversation and pretended she wasn’t heartbroken. Twenty minutes later she goes back to the party to see Francis introducing another girl to his family. Mary asks to speak to Francis. She asks, “Are you with that girl. It’s only been one month..” He says, “Yes I am with that girl. Actually, I’m using her to get over you.” Mary stated that she hated him and removed him from her life for good. Mary committed suicide two weeks later.

Brace Face

Teen years. Acne, high school, college, puberty, and worst of all braces. Let’s talk about those little fuckers. They hurt, they stab your cheeks, make you starve, and put you at #0 on the attractiveness scale of #1-#10. Braces are just simply a pain in the ass. The Orthodontist always promises you that you will have them off in 2 years, but they lie! We all fall prisoner to those teeth loving bastards at some point in our lives. Man you get your braces on in the year 2006 and next thing you know it’s 2016 and they’re still on you. You go to your follow up hoping today is the day, you know cause last time the Orthodontist told you it was, but you fool! You go in and the Orthodontist is like “Hey your teeth are looking great, come back in 6 months for a follow-up.” You just cringed and die a little inside.

Now I had mine when I was in the 3rd grade; thank god, so honestly I was already a goofy little one as it was so I had no care in the world, but now-a-days you see 60-year-old’s with them. Like could you imagine being 60 with braces? I mean hey good for you get those straight teeth, spend $5k on something you’ll only have for a few more years.

And then there are people like my aunt. People with to much mula to handle. My aunt is an Orthodontist and already had great teeth, but one day thought “Hey why not be 45 with braces” and she glued those suckers on her pearly whites. I just don’t understand. I think she just likes to spend money to be honest, but I mean if you have the money then have at it! You’d think wealthy/average people with perfect teeth wouldn’t keep spending money on something that doesn’t need more work, right? WRONG.

It’s acceptable to be in your late teens and have braces, because we all know a majority of us who had braces when we were young did not follow the rules. Our parents may have hated us for wasting their money the first time, but hey it wasn’t our money! We ate as much if not more junk food than we did before we had braces and we never wore those damn retainers. The dog ate them right? So basically having braces in your late teens is pretty much attractiveness giving you a second chance just this time don’t fuck it up or you’ll be that 60-year-old brace face.

Remember going through the retainer making process. Oh my god was it awful. They would stick your mouth full of gooey bubble gum flavored crap. Man that stuff would always make you feel like you were choking and not to mention the flavor and left over particles that would remain in your mouth for the rest of the day. Man I hated that. Oh and can’t forget about the expander, always having to lay of the floor with your neck in a position that would practically feel like it would snap at any moment and your parents full hand in your mouth with the twister thing trying to tighten it. Those were the days. We were all so blessed.

Really though everyone who needed braces and has/had them are blessed. There are many out there who probably wish they had the opportunity and I am 100% grateful for my parents. If it wasn’t for them I’d still have my hella messed up teeth. Teeth that put me at #0 way before I got braces. Proud to say I was not only “four eyes” but also “brace face.”

 

 

Pro-Life or Pro-Choice

699,202. Per the CDC as of 2016 there was 699,202 unborn children reported aborted in 2012, legally. Surprisingly that’s a 5% decrease compared to 2011. Now the question is are you pro-life or pro-choice? I’m pro-choice. The way I see it is, if you’re against abortion don’t have one. Some will say that’s crucial for me to say and think, but in all reality the woman has the right to make her own decisions. No law should tell any woman what she can or can’t do with her body. Every single person has a right to their own opinions, but before any of us have an opinion we need to sit back and look at then pros and cons.

Per MIT, 14,000 women have abortions following rape or incest. 54% of young women between the ages 18-34 are at high risk of sexual violence. Would you want to have a child from being raped, especially at a young age? Of course not. So what gives you or I the right to decide if one of the unlikely women can abort their unwanted child or not?  It’s their choice, not ours. Now personally I have multiple views on this topic. Yes I am pro-choice, but if you aren’t forced into a sexually situation and get pregnant then that is on you.  That’s something you need to take responsibility for. If you are raped and get pregnant that’s not your choice that’s something that was forced upon you. There’s always individuals that are going to say “oh she asked for it” “oh she puts out” “she deserved it” however that does not change anything, it is still something that was forced upon the woman she shouldn’t have to live with someone else’s mistake. Now I’m not saying that woman wouldn’t love her unwanted child unconditionally if she were to keep it, but it’s just not the right thing to do. That child will grow up struggling due to his father’s decisions and mistakes. The woman’s decisions aren’t the only ones who will impact the child’s life. Some need to realize this.

Individuals fail to realize how certain decisions and choices will affect a child’s life. Many are unaware that children are victimized at a much higher rate than adults. According to Darkness to Light, 39% of 7 to 12 year-old girls with a history of sexual abuse have academic difficulties. Many of the children also demonstrate an increase in substance abuse. There’s also many behavioral problems caused by rape, not only the woman has them, but also the child. The woman isn’t the only victim, the child is too. You may think abortion is terrible and you’re killing a human, but in the end it’s not terrible. Most of the time a human isn’t being killed, it’s being saved from a life full of hell.

Anti-abortion leaders fail to realize that no woman has an abortion for fun. I personally believe that there is a lot of feelings and thought put into an abortion, the woman has looked at all the pros and cons. No soon to be mom wants to end a child’s life just to make their life easier. If you cannot financially support the child, you don’t live in a good environment for the child, if you don’t have the ability to raise the child to be good or are to unhealthy to have the child then abortion is ok. There’s always adoption, but you never know if the child is going to a good home. There’s just so many risks when it comes to having a child especially an unplanned one. For some it’s a miracle, but for others it’s a nightmare and they shouldn’t have to live with that. It’s cruel for me to say, but I am thinking of the child’s future and so is the woman. A soon to be mother does everything she can to make sure she is doing everything possible to give her child the life he/she deserves. “Listen to the pregnant woman. Value her. She values the life growing inside her. Listen to the pregnant woman, and you cannot help but defend her right to abortion” (Ayelet Waldman).

Per Lydia Saad Americans choose Pro-Choice for the first time in seven years. Americans divide 50% pro-choice. 54% of women are now pro-choice vs. 46% of men. “Seventy seven percent of anti-abortion leaders are men. 100% of them will never be pregnant” (Planned Parenthood). Women should always be in control of their own fertility. If you’re happily married I think the decision needs to be between both spouses. If you’re in an unhappy marriage talk about it with your spouse. If you’re single talk to the father. If you don’t know who the father is talk to a friend. If you’re sexually abused and pregnant then think about the pros and cons to the child’s future. In the end though the decision is and should always be the woman’s decision.

 

 

Works Cited

Baynard, William, and Shenk Noll. “Darkness to Light.” Darkness to Light. Darkness to

Light, 2013. Web. 10 Dec. 2016.

 

Gallup, Inc. “Americans Choose “Pro-Choice” for First Time in Seven Years.

” Gallup.com. Gallup, 29 May 2015. Web. 10 Dec. 2016.

 

Guttmacher, Alan. “MIT Pro-Choice — Facts.” MIT Pro-Choice — Facts. Guttmacher

Institute, n.d. Web. 10 Dec. 2016.

 

Library, CNN, and CDC. “Abortion Fast Facts.” CNN. Cable News Network, 7 Dec.

  1. Web. 10 Dec. 2016.

 

“Victims of Sexual Violence: Statistics | RAINN.” Victims of Sexual Violence: Statistics |

            RAINN. Rainn, n.d. Web. 10 Dec. 2016.

Success

Success; the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. Would you continue reading if I told you that I know how you can make a million dollars in a short period? Of course you would, who wouldn’t? Sadly, I don’t know how to make a million dollars, sorry. You know who does know how to though? Bill Gates, did you know that at 17 Bill sold his first computer program for $4,200 according to Zernin. Bill is also one of the richest men in the world with a net worth of $72.7 billion. That all was achieved with hard work and a goal. So would you listen to Bill Gates? If I told you that you can make it to the Olympics one day would you believe me? Probably not, I’m no athletic person or fortune teller. I bet if Michael Phelps said you could make it to the Olympics you’d believe him. His confidence got him a long way, now he’s putting his confidence in you. Now it’s time for you to give yourself confidence. If you had a dream to climb Mt Everest or go Sky Diving you’d work hard and achieve those dreams, right? That is what success is, working hard, believing in yourself, putting in effort, and learning from others.

Now, others will more than likely disagree with my view on what success truly is. Some may say success is making $500k+ a year, or simple things like raising a family, or graduating school. As you can see though each of those fall under my meaning of success, working hard and believing in yourself so I see no argument on this topic. Everyone experiences success in their lives. Almost everything good thing you do can be considered successful. Taking out the trash, washing your car, getting a paycheck, graduating, passing a test. If you didn’t fail any of those tasks, then they were all a success, right? I guess the real question you have to ask yourself is, what is success to you?

My first successful moment; at least to me, was when I won an art contest in 5th grade to have one of my drawings on the yearbook cover. I absolutely love art. I was so happy and honestly to this day that is still my #1 successful moment. My mom actually framed the yearbook and I still have it to this day it’s an elementary drawing, but it’s a very happy memory and my very first successful moment. Now every time I feel like things are getting tough and I’m never going to get a money-making job I look back to that drawing and suddenly I believe in myself again. Yes, success is about working hard, believing in yourself, and etc, but happiness also plays a key role. If you achieve all your dreams and are not happy then clearly it wasn’t a success and clearly there’s a problem with your dreams. According to Shawn Achor on a Forbes article, “Your brain works significantly better at positive than at negative, neutral or stressed.  Every single business and educational outcome improves when we start at positive rather than waiting for a future success.” So, in other words, be happy! Do what makes you happy, it’ll be a success I promise. Mine was.

Another big successful moment for me was graduation. 2 years of pre-school, Kindergarten, then 1st-12th grade all led up to that very moment. I spent 15 years of school living with my parents, passing all my classes, saving money, making friends, adventuring. It was all amazing yes, but look where I’m at now. Living on my own, paying my own bills, having my own responsibilities; yes it sucks, but I’m prepared. I look back now and realize that every terrible decision was a success, every failing grade was a success, every lesson was a success, and every failed friendship was a success. You may be thinking, why does she think those were all successes? My answer is because look how evolved and happy I am right now in life. If none of those things happened before college I have no idea what kind of person I’d be right now. I worked my butt off for probably half of those 15 years and some of those years I had no life and was a book worm, but in the end it was all worth it. No matter what everything you do in life is a success whether you see it now or not.

So, I’m sure you can agree with me that working hard, believing in yourself, putting in effort, and learning from others is the true meaning of what success is. Mine was winning an art contest and graduating, yours could be saving up your first $100, becoming a doctor, or simply buying a pair of shoes, but if you work hard and always believe in yourself, success will follow in your footsteps.

 

 

Works Cited

Caprino, Kathy. “How Happiness Directly Impacts Your Success.” Forbes. Forbes

Magazine, 06 June 2013. Web. 06 Nov. 2016.

Fischer-Zernin, Maxime. “10 Ridiculous Facts About How Rich Bill Gates Is.” Mic.

News.Mic, 25 Oct. 2015. Web. 06 Nov. 2016.

 

Avoid The Glass

You never truly know somebody until they’ve picked up a glass or even picked up some illegal paper. In this case I’m talking about the glass. There’s typically a reason one goes for a glass, stress, PTSD, anger, enjoyment, all kinds of things. It’s the ones who go for the glass and can’t let go that are oblivious to the world that surrounds them. A solider comes back from war and immediately picks up the glass to escape all of the horrendous activity he/she experienced overseas, a spouse dies and the other picks up the glass to take away the pain, a top notch athlete learns he can no longer be a part of the sport he loved, so he grabs a glass and becomes angry at the world. A boyfriend cheated on his underage girlfriend so she goes out to take her mind off of things and one thing leads to another. Now she’s passed out in a strangers bed.  A wife becomes addicted to the tall glass bottle to forget about her failing marriage, but as she’s forgetting about the marriage she’s forgetting about the two beautiful 4-year old’s she has. A soon to be father that still has growing up to do learns that he has a daughter on the way. This father is young and just wants to continue partying with friends. That father missed out on 3 years of his daughter’s life due to the partying, due to the bottle. That father is mine. The glass can ruin a person from the inside out. It’s like the Sour Patch Kids commercial in rewind, first their sweet and then they’re sour. There’s a story behind every glass, but there’s also regret behind every sip.  Alcohol is never the answer.

I was obviously too young to be ashamed of my father and embarrassed of him. I personally am more affected now than I was when I was younger, I have a better understanding on what my father did, what he put my mother and the rest of my family through. I didn’t talk to my father for 5 years. I was angry at him for what he did 12 years ago. Alcohol ruined my relationship with my father. I was in the wrong though. Yes, my father made mistakes, but he made them 12 years ago he is a better man now. I wasted 5 years blaming my father for every little thing in my life that had gone wrong.  Really the only person who had a right to be angry was my mom. My dad hurt her mentally. My mom forgave my father years ago it was my turn to. I didn’t forgive him for 5 years. Alcohol ruined my relationship with my dad for 8 years of my life and I was only 15.

The first time I listened to the song Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley and Allison Krauss I cried. I have no idea why I did, but it hit close to home. Not because of the affair or the war, but because it showed me how the simplest acts a person performs can lead another to the bottle. It got me thinking, my dad became an alcoholic when he found out my mom was pregnant with me. I then realized I cried because I blamed myself for my father’s problem. I knew I shouldn’t, but my father and my mother were great together before me. I had no choice, but to feel guilty. According to an article on Alcoholism Statistics, “An estimated 6.6 million children under 18 live with at least one alcoholic parent” (“Alcoholism Statistics”).  That means almost 6.6 million people feel exactly the same way I did.

Children of alcoholics feel responsible for the problems of the alcoholic and believe they created the problem. According to an article by Choo and Shek, “Parental and familial factors, parent–child relationship quality or attachment in particular has been known to be one of the most salient determinants of adolescents drinking across studies” (Choo & Shek p. 1145). There’s many different statistics done that have shown that children who blame themselves for their parent’s alcoholism become alcoholics themselves for that very reason. That means that alcohol has an effect on almost every family generation. I’m going to be honest I have taken a few sips out of the bottle due to family. I never was an alcoholic I never even liked drinking, but my situation doesn’t justify or explain the other 6.6 million people’s situations. Alcohol destroys a family and should never be the answer. Over the past few years’ alcohol has increasingly become the answer. That 6.6 million is going to rise.  Don’t let the bottle be the answer.

I’ve been going on about my family struggle due to alcohol, but I haven’t mentioned how alcohol manages my life now that I’m an adult and live on my own. I’m 18 in college surrounded by thousands of underage teens who think alcohol is the answer to everything. The answer to stress, happiness, fun. I’m one of those underage teens. Hypocritical right? I just talked about how alcohol is not the answer yet I sometimes fall into the trap of the glass. I have no excuse to do it. To be honest I drink out of the glass to fit in and to have fun. It’s sad that the world believes alcohol has to exist to have fun. You don’t see parents trying to stop it anymore, you see parents supplying it. I’ve lost so many of my friends to them becoming alcoholics. Everyone hits rock bottom at some point in their life, but not usually at 18. Knowing this I still pick up the glass. So, do I do this because of my dad, to have fun, to impress others, or because of stress? I honestly don’t know. According to the research on Reference, “6.9% of the U.S population is between the ages of 15-19” (“2012 Census”). That’s 21,321,000 teens. We’ll never know how many of those teenagers are actually drinking, but it’s scary to think about. What’s more terrifying is we don’t know how many of those teenagers are drinking due to family, school, or entertainment. Do yourself a favor, avoid the glass.

 

Works Cited

NIH. “Alcohol Facts and Statistics | National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA).” U.S National Library of Medicine. U.S. National Library of Medicine, Jan. 2016. Web. 07 Oct. 2016.

Shapiro, Francine. “Effects of Parental Substance Abuse on Children and Families.” American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress. N.p., 2014. Web. 07 Oct. 2016.

Valk, Joost De. “Alcoholism Statistics.” Alcoholism Statistics. YoastSEO, 3 May 2015. Web. 07 Oct. 2016.

“What Percentage of the Population Are Teenagers?” Reference. U.S. Government, n.d. Web. 07 Oct. 2016.

Management, Lansing Community College Web. “LCC Authentication.”LCC Authentication. AtoZ The USA, n.d. Web. 07 Oct. 2016.

Choo, Hyekyung, and Daniel Shek. “Quality of Parent-Child Relationship, Family Conflict, Peer Pressure, and Drinking Behaviors of Adolescents.” ProQuest. LCC, Feb. 2013. Web. 9 Oct. 2016.

 

Good Work Ethic=Successful Life

“The principle that hard work is intrinsically virtuous or worthy of reward”, the true meaning of work ethic. Now my definition of work ethic was just “hey mom dad do you have $20”.  Then the day came when I turned 18 and had to grow up. Nobody ever said that being an adult was going to be absolutely terrible. Nobody mentioned that having a social life was practically nonexistent and nobody bothered to mention that I was going to start receiving lots of bills. To be honest we’re all unprepared. I thought I was prepared, but nope. I have two jobs and go to school full time. And let me tell you if I didn’t have a good work ethic I think I’d be living on the streets. Even though I was taught a lot when I was growing up like how to pay bills, how to manage credit cards, and how to build credit, that only prepared me for 25% of the real world. I’ve come to learn that if you want to be successful in life you honestly have to have a good work ethic and if you don’t have a good work ethic then you’re really not going to go far in life.

I came from a privileged school in the Grand Rapids area. I personally do not come from a wealthy family, but I did grow up around a lot of individuals that did. Many of those individuals were my closest friends. I have to say before I turned 16 I had the most terrible work ethic all I wanted to do was socialize, hang out with my friends, and go to school events. Oh and guess whose money I used for all those things. My parents! I don’t regret it though I was a kid, I loved life, but then one day something pretty tragic happened. My mom was diagnosed with cancer. My mom is okay now, but everything went downhill for my family. My parents were so far in debt due to medical bills that we almost lost our house. All of us kids that were able to work had to. There was no more of my parents paying for any of us. That meant our car insurance, phone bills, gasoline, anything we wanted we had to pay for ourselves. Therefore, I started working at Brann’s as a hostess, now I was making $8.15 an hour that was not going to pay for much so I worked about 30 hours a week. Do I regret it? No, because look where I am now, living on my own and paying for everything on my own with money left over to save. I’m proud of myself. I feel accomplished and successful. And what do I have to thank for that. A good work ethic.

When working for Brann’s it was always very busy. There was always the super nice customers and the occasional rude customers. Well one day I was working and the restaurant was extremely packed. There was this large group of individuals that took up our whole Room B except for one table. I happened to be seating that table and an individual from the larger group stopped me and said “How would you like to come work for my company”? Now I was pretty shocked and thought he was kidding, but no I was offered a job while I was working at my one job. My future boss told me he has never seen someone with such good character working in a restaurant before, someone with so much professionalism, respect and someone with such good work ethic for working in a restaurant at the age of 16. That night I was incredibly happy. I was so blessed that my parents pushed me during our tragic time to do things on my own. I had the what ifs in my mind the whole night. What if my mom didn’t get cancer, what if I didn’t go to a privileged school, what if my parents didn’t spend time teaching me financial responsibilities? Every single one of the life obstacles I went through and hated led up to my success. With the help of my parents and life lessons I was lucky to have learned to have a good work ethic. Actually a rock solid work ethic.

Remember those privileged friends I was talking about earlier? Well they still to this day live off of their parents, none of them have jobs, none of them even know what a work ethic is. Most of them haven’t had to work for their college education because their parents are paying it for them. Honestly I got so wrapped up in working hard that I kind of drifted away from that friend group. When I would hang out with them I’d get so annoyed. It’d bother me so much to just see their parents hand them money whenever they wanted it, I was so ashamed that I used to be like that. I never want to go back to being that person, it’s my daily goal to be better than I was a week ago, to work harder so in the future I can be relaxed and happy, not still living at home off of my parents.

Having a good work ethic is so important and I wish everyone felt the same way. I need to stress the fact that you will not get anywhere in life if you do not work hard.  Working hard is the #1 key to success in my book. Yes, life will be absolutely boring and terrible for a few years, but in the end it is worth it. And in the end if you feel that working hard for all of those years wasn’t worth it, that just means you didn’t work hard enough!

I’m My Own Boyfriend’s Side Chick

Have you ever been in a relationship and just not felt yourself? Have you ever been in a relationship and felt like you didn’t/don’t belong? I’m in a relationship right now one I’ve been in for almost 2 years. Don’t get me wrong I love the guy I’m with, but sometimes in the back of my mind I feel as if we don’t belong together anymore. We’ve had a lot of issues over the past years and I’m honestly kind of getting annoyed of it.

The guy isn’t very romantic at all,which is fine, but it sort of makes him only think about himself all of the time, like I am always working my schedule around his and it’s so much work, I go to school & work full time. We also live in different cities. Our whole relationship has revolved around him, he also thinks it’s funny to pick fights with me. Also due to the fact that I live in a different city I do a lot of traveling. I’ve lived in this city for 6 months now and I think he’s been down here maybe 4 times and that’s because I have to beg or he just wants sex. Now ask me how many times I’ve traveled to him. EVERY weekend or he whines. Personally I think I need to stop and make him realize he needs to stop walking all over me.

Anytime my boyfriend calls and wants me to come over or actually comes to my apartment it’s for sex. I’m not into it lately because there’s no feelings. I don’t feel bad though he should be making me feel loved. I love his family so a lot of the time I go home that is why, I mean our families set us up they’re good friends so it’s hard. When I do go home though I always just sit until my boy comes home he wants to do it then we go to bed. lol. Last week he came to my apartment, I had to be up early the next day for work and didn’t want to have sex, he left the next morning without saying a word and ignored me all day just because I didn’t have sex with him. His words, ” you know the only reason I came down to your apartment, and you didn’t give me it” WHAT. I’m my own boyfriends side chick!

The guy also acts like hes on his period sometimes. There will be days when he’ll decide to ignore me all day or be a jackass to me all day and make me feel shitty. I try talking to him and he just ignores me. He came down last weekend and my roommate pointed it out to him and all he had to say was “I like making her mad, it’s funny” Honestly I don’t find any humor in it. Having your heart yanked around gets old and tiring fast.

We broke up awhile back for a little bit and I’ve never felt so embarrassed for myself before. I swear I went psycho. I got very depressed. He left me because “he wanted to sleep with other people” LIKE WHAT. All of you are probably like then why did you go back to him and to be honest I don’t know, I love the kid I guess.

He just told me a few weeks ago that in the short period we were over he was with another girl. It honestly broke my heart. How can you go from being with someone for so long to being in bed with another so fast? I’ve been with only two people in my life and I for the life of me don’t think that number will ever increase. I don’t think I will ever be treated right by another guy to let myself go to that base again. When we broke up I was very angry at him for his reasons, but I never slept with anyone else. My heart has been hurt for so long that I don’t even know how to feel again. If we break up again I don’t know what I’m going to do.

My boyfriend also never wants me to go to parties with him, strange right? I can say I don’t trust him. Every time I want to go with he throws a fit and neither of us end up going. I don’t understand. He has this friend that doesn’t like me and always tries to have my boyfriend get with other girls. He doesn’t like my guy being tied down, this friend has caused a lot of issues in our relationship. Actually he IS a lot of our issues. He’s always with my boyfriend when he goes to parties, so can you understand why I get so upset? He also gets my boyfriend to do drugs and what not, whenever he is with him I get treated so bad. I don’t think that should be happening.

I asked my boyfriend to go on spring break  with me and some friends, he said no he wanted to save money, understandable. But the next week he decided to go to Canada with friends. Told him I thought he wanted to save money, he told me he just didn’t want to go on Spring Break. I wanted him to go so badly that I said he could bring his best friend. HE SAID YES. Then his best friend couldn’t and he went back to saying no! I am always in competition I tell you. He’s going to school 8 hrs away this coming up fall, he wants to end our relationship when he leaves. LOL. 8 hrs away. We’ll be together for 2.5 years. Can we just take a moment.

I met this guy down at school, we get along great. We both are in relationships though, relationships that we’re not sure we want. The only flaw about him is he’s a huge player. Every time any of the friends decide to hangout and he’s is too I feel myself trying to make myself look good. That shouldn’t be happening. I’m supposed to be in a very happy relationship with someone I love dearly right now. Instead I’m thinking of another guy and I don’t know what the universe is trying to tell me.

This guy that is my boyfriend may be all about himself, but we have a great time every time we are together. We don’t usually go on dates and do relationship stuff, but we always have fun whether we’re out and about or sitting at home and I think that is very important. But there’s just so much wrong in my relationship right now, I don’t know if I can keep up anymore. I talk or try to talk to my boyfriend about all of this quite often, but he never gets concerned. I always wonder, have I been holding on to long? As I was typing this I was feeling more towards ending things, but now that I’m finished I just can’t. I love him.

“If someone truly loves you, they won’t make you feel like you need to constantly fight for their attention.”

“Just remember, when you’re ignoring her, you’re teaching her to live without you.”